| Reoccurring |
[16 Sep 2007|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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This reoccurring thought in my minds eye when ever looking to further my family only comes to a halt when the images flash through my head like an old fashion film reel of events that took place some 2 years ago. Starting in a bathroom with women like sisters, to a dreadful car ride, leading to that cold place only to see the screen, to a bed then leading back to that terrible bathroom. This thought provokes such intense feelings to rush through me, feelings of sadness and hurt, the labored....labored.....labored...breathing, eyes burning with fury and over flowing with tear drops of lava. The feeling of being ripped..apart from something soo close to you, within you. Then the collapse, into no one but your own arms. No comfort in this reoccurring thought...Of what could have been, to what is now and now to what will become...This is my past, present and my future.
I fear that day i lost myself along with another, everything good about me was taken and flushed down the toilet...literally however unfortunate....
One day i hope to be right again...
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[28 Feb 2006|12:36am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
Sometimes it takes losing everything to get exactly what you want.
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[24 Feb 2006|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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Glassjaw |
] |
In My Daughters Eyes
In my daughters eyes, I am a hero.
I am strong and wise and i know no fear.
But the truth is plain to she,
she was sent here to rescue me.
I see who i want to be,
In my Daughters eyes.
In my daughters eyes-everyone is equal.
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace.
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when i am weak.
I see reason to believe in my Daughters eyes.
When she wraps her hand around my fingers,
oh it puts a smile in my heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer
and i know what life is all about.
Its about hanging on when your heart has
had enough-its giving more when you feel like giving up.
Ive seen the light-its in my daughters eyes.
The future-a reflection of who i am and what will be.
Though she'll grow and someday leave,
maybe start a family,
when ive gone i hope she'll see how happy she made me
And ill be there -----
In my Daughters eyes.
Wow its a definate water works show over here haha. My mom gave that to me a very long time ago then gave it to me again when i was preggo with Zoey and right now im having a tough time with things so i pulled it out, of all things something to make me cry more haha but thats ok thats how i roll!
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| Ode to you |
[21 Feb 2006|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
] |
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
(Come on let me hold you) Touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
(Come on let me hold you) Touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
Always..
Always..
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[30 Jan 2006|12:16am] |
Ok so yea i was at Jays last night and we were on the computer and guess what...I GOT MY LICENSE!!! Holy mother Miss Stefanie Stewart got her license. Only catch is..i have to go to the DMV and get the picture taken..then make an appointment to take the actual drivers test. Im estatic!! Im looking into getting a Jetta..not sure how i can pay for it on top of rent and everything else but i will figure it out it will just take major budgeting. hehe i cant wait to learn how to drive stick thats gonna be awesome in Lindsays Lancer *happy dance*
In other news everything is going great zoeys 18 months jesus christ, the girl speaks clear as a bell and almost full sentences..my lil genious! Work is also still great, lots of customers = $$$$ for me! Jay and i are wonderfull been together 6 months awww. Going on vacation soon to orlando with jay brian and gio...shall be a blast and for my 21st b-day Jays taking me to Vegas and a few months before that we are going to all try and go on a cruise.
Anyhow got some things to look up with the internet is still kicken so till next time dudes take care
Stefanie
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carebearlover's journal